| Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Walteritis | |
| Cause: | bee sting |
| Symptoms: | lumps, puncture wounds, itching, glowing in the dark |
| Cure: | bleach |
I doubt the veracity of the diagnosis, as I've been drinking bleach for days now with no sign of improvement.
Found via Andy, who is not quite as sick as you might have thought.